Why Do I Push People Away When They Get Close?
Casen Psychology | Sara Casen, PhD
Feeling anxious much of the time is a frequent worry that prompts individuals to seek therapy. Constant worry can be exhausting, and wanting to understand it is a reasonable response. Dr. Sara Casen is a psychologist in West Los Angeles who works with young adults on anxiety, depression, and life transitions. If you have been asking yourself why you feel anxious all the time and what that might mean, it can help to slow down and look at what is actually happening.
What "anxious all the time" often looks like
Persistent anxiety can show up as a background hum that rarely switches off. Some people describe a tight chest, a busy mind, trouble sleeping, or a sense of dread that has no obvious source. Others notice it mostly in their bodies before they can name it as worry.
Clients often report that the feeling seems to follow them from one situation to the next. It can attach to work, health, relationships, money, or the future, and then move on to the next thing once one worry quiets down.
Research suggests that ongoing anxiety tends to involve both the brain's threat-response system and patterns of thinking learned over time. Because both are at play, the worry can feel like it arrives on its own, even when real pressures sit underneath it.
Does this mean something is wrong with me?
Not necessarily. Feeling anxious, even often, is part of being human. Stressful stretches, big transitions, and heavy workloads can all raise anxiety on their own.
The difference tends to come down to intensity, duration, and impact. When worry is hard to control, sticks around most days, and starts affecting sleep, focus, relationships, or work, it may be worth a closer look. A conversation with a clinician can help you sort out what you are actually experiencing instead of guessing.
Constant anxiety and low mood frequently travel together, and it's common to also wonder why you feel low without an obvious cause. If the worry is paired with feeling down for no clear reason, it can help to look at both patterns at once.
When it may help to talk to someone
You might consider support if the anxiety has lasted a while, if it feels like it is running your days, or if the strategies you have tried on your own are no longer holding. Many young adults reach this point during college, graduate school, or the early years of a demanding career.
Dr. Casen works with college and graduate students, recent graduates, and early-career professionals, often in fields like academia, tech, law, and entertainment. She understands both the excitement and the pressure that can come with building a career while managing constant worry.
Ongoing anxiety often shows up during major life changes, which is why anxiety, depression and life transitions therapy looks at what's happening beneath the worry rather than only the symptoms. When worry never seems to switch off, working with an anxiety therapist in Los Angeles can help you understand why and explore what actually calms it.
How the work tends to go
Therapy with Dr. Casen is collaborative. In a first session, she asks for a highlight reel of your life, then works with you to set goals and revisit them over time. Her methods include Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, psychodynamic therapy, and attachment-based therapy, chosen to fit what you bring in.
Sessions are goal-directed and often include worksheets, psychoeducation, and homework so the work continues between meetings. Care is offered in person in West Los Angeles and by telehealth across California and New York.
Questions people ask before booking
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Sometimes, though not always. For some people, pulling away when closeness grows connects to earlier experiences where connection felt unsafe or unpredictable. In those cases, distance can become a way the nervous system tries to stay protected.
That said, the same behavior can come from other sources, such as stress, low mood, or never having learned different ways to stay close. A pattern by itself does not confirm trauma. Understanding what is actually driving your version usually takes reflection over time rather than one explanation.
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Nighttime often removes the distractions that keep worry quiet during the day. With fewer tasks to focus on, the mind can turn toward unresolved thoughts, and the body may stay alert even when you want to rest. Some people notice a racing mind, a pounding heart, or repeated checking of the clock. If this happens most nights and affects your sleep, it can be worth exploring what is keeping your system on alert.
Noticing the cycle is usually the first useful step. Working with a therapist can help you slow it down enough to see what tends to set the withdrawal in motion, and what you would rather do instead.
Finding the right support is a journey.
If any of this resonated, a consultation call is a low-pressure way to continue to explore if my approach feels like the right fit for you.